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Joan Vinall-Cox's avatar

Yes - what I’m trying to say in “What the Bee Knows”

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Colleen Krystyniak's avatar

Thank you for reading!! And for this affirming comment! I can’t wait to read “What the Bee Knows!” I Love Bees :-)

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Veronika Bond's avatar

This is a wonderful exploration. And the Naomi Shihab Nye quotes (one of my absolute favourite poetesses!) are precious. Thank you so much for this brilliant piece 💗🙏

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Colleen Krystyniak's avatar

Oh my-Thank You!!!🥰 Your reading & taking the time out to comment & share your thoughts means so much!! Glad you enjoyed!! Naomi Shihab Nye is one of my Faves too!!!

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DocTalk, Allan N Schwartz PhD's avatar

Great wisdom

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Colleen Krystyniak's avatar

Thank You for reading & your kind comment.😊

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Susan McMahon's avatar

Thank you, i can relate! Your old ways are my old ways. The people-pleasing, self-sacrifice, Self vs self, plus the years of therapy and personal work-me too :) Happy we met 💚

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Colleen Krystyniak's avatar

Thank you for reading!! And for this affirming comment! Me too!🥰

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Thalia Toha's avatar

Colleen- Thanks for sharing this. And you're right on "not all at the same time" front. Sometimes I do wonder of the real origins of this seemingly universal need. But your piece is a great reflection of the work that's still to be done on this. Hope you're well this week, Colleen!

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Colleen Krystyniak's avatar

What a thoughtful reply! 😍Thank you for reading and taking the time to comment. I’m glad you got something out of my reflections.

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Jenn Morrill's avatar

Your dog bumping your arm and ending your comment prematurely made me laugh. 😆 Yes, I should have clarified what made me think of you with the birds. It was because you had commented on one of my posts about how you love the Merlin app when I mentioned them engaging our parasympathetic nervous system. I was stressed out today, so I tried listening to them on Spotify, and it totally helped!

Love hearing your thoughts on co-dependency too. Sounds like a post in the making! ☺️

I link to that video in my most recent post about heartbreak. It was definitely an eye-opener for me. Authenticity is so important!

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Jenn Morrill's avatar

Lovely thoughts today, Colleen. I’ve been listening to birds on Spotify today and thought of you! ☺️

I totally resonated with this: “since the other person didn’t get to see the ‘full me in my truth;’ I robbed them of the real me too! So actually, nobody got me.” 🤯

Someone shared a video with me a couple of weeks ago about this—about true intimacy vs pseudo intimacy and how we create pseudo intimacy when we present a false version of ourselves (through people pleasing). We create a relationship with a fantasy. The way this lady explained it kind of blew my mind. It sent me into a whole process that inspired me to write about it.

Anyway, it’s fun that it’s been on your mind too! ✨

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Colleen Krystyniak's avatar

I wasn’t finished, but my dog bumped my arm!😂 Anyway~ lol…the first time I had people-pleasing presented to me in this light, it blew my mind too.

And the whole “co-dependency” thing being rather selfish, not generous or giving at all; especially when it pertains to interacting with loved ones who were struggling with substance use; how taking over their responsibilities, cleaning up their messes, preventing their natural consequences was in effect, not only robbing them the chance to rise up and meet their lives themselves, but in essence, saying (to some degree) “I don’t think you can handle this.” “You Need ME, your Savior to take care of you.” Now obviously, soooo much room in all of this for nuance, but overall, this perspective spoke to me. Kind of woke me up to a blind spot. I was reminded you raise the child for the world & not attempt to alter the world for the child.

Anyway, I could obviously write another whole post on just this topic. Another time. For now, I’d love to read what you had to share on this process you’ve referenced, so I am going to check out your posts! :-) (I have lots of catching up I want to do ;-)

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Colleen Krystyniak's avatar

YES!!! Hello Jenn! And thank you for reading & sharing your insight & thoughts! Love that listening to the birds had me come to mind! (I hold my phone up for the Merlin app to ferret out which birds are chirping nearly every day!) I’m not sure if I’ve written about this anywhere but I only recently learned that hearing birds sing engages our parasympathetic nervous systems too!

The whole true vs pseudo intimacy is such a fascinating concept, isn’t it? And creating a relationship with a fantasy!!

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Colleen Krystyniak's avatar

Oh my-Thank You!!!🥰 Your reading & taking the time out to comment & share your thoughts means so much!! Glad you enjoyed!! Naomi Shihab Nye is one of my Faves too!!!

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Colleen Krystyniak's avatar

☺️🥰

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Colleen Krystyniak's avatar

What a thoughtful reply! 😍Thank you for reading and taking the time to comment. I’m glad you got something out of my reflections.

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